Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Breath of fresh air

At my new Small Group this evening, I overheard a (rather cute) young lady saying to another young lady something along the lines of, "...purposeful dating. The idea is that you should be intentional about dating. You don't just do it for fun or to hookup, but in the context of the search for a spouse."

Wow, I was starting to think I was one of the few single people who actually tried to approach dating in this way. I'm not really sure if she was advocating this approach, or simply stating that it is one way of looking at things, but it was refreshing to hear it expressed, nonetheless.

The awesome thing about dating someone with this perspective in my mind is that you know that person would be treating you with respect, love, and seriousness. They would not be dating you purely out of boredom or loneliness or just using you for a season. It means that, if they dated you, they would actually be considering you as a potential spouse. Things would either grow and develop into marriage, or as soon as it became apparent that you were not the one, they would break it. While it could still happen, there would be a concerted effort made on both sides not to use one another, keep one another around till something better comes along, or discard one another as soon as things get serious.

I guess if we were to put this in the golden rule framework, we might say:

"I'm not playing you, so please don't play me."

Note: I realize there is a whole lot underlying this that you may not agree with, such as that dating should always be intentional. I believe it should be, but you don't have to. At the very least, I think it is important that a couple be on the same page. If one person is dating intentionally and the other is just dabbling for fun or because they are lonely, there is bound to be heartbreak.

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