Teach me!

I've never really understood people who say"don't try to change me". I suppose that's not entirely true. Often these people don't want the person they are dating to try to make them into someone they are not. And to a degree, I agree with this idea. I wouldn't want someone to try to force me to enjoy brussel sprouts or watch Sex in the City.

But those aren't even good examples, because I would want someone to challenge me. Maybe there is some sauce that makes brussel sprouts taste amazing (unlikely!) or some angle to take on Sex in the City that makes it enjoyable, or at least an interesting commentary on the human condition (I remain skeptical). I wouldn't want someone to try to change who I fundamentally am, but I guess I would want someone to push me. I don't want to be completely responsible for defining myself - it sounds so self-absorbed and myopic.

In fact, I want someone to improve me! I've always like that saying that goes, "I love you the way you are, but I love you too much to let you stay that way." I fully subscribe to this way of thinking. There are so many different ways I can grow and become a better man. I want someone to see that potential and run with it. Someone simply accepting who I am seems rather drab - I hope they see more potential in me than just the me that is here and now.

I was recently listening to a radio show about relationships and dating, and they said one of the most important red flags about the person you are dating is an "unteachable and unrepentant" attitude. It really hit home, because I don't want to be that person. I want to be teachable, and I want to be repentant when I have screwed up. I accept that there is still a lot of work to be done on me. I don't want to be content in myself. I like to think there is a lot yet to come.



Unteachable and unrepentant

I love you the way you are, but love you too much to let you stay that way.

Housemates that make you go "huh?"

I have a new housemate, and while she is a pretty sweet girl, she does some things that make me scratch my head in bewilderment. Today, I came home to find that she had taken out the kitchen trash (yay!), but instead of putting a new trash bag into the can, she had taken a little grocery bag, stuffed some trash into it, and thrown it beside the trash can.

The trash sits next to the refrigerator, on top of which there are not one, but two different boxes full of trash bags. Directly above the trash can. All she had to do was reach up, but instead she walked around the refrigerator and took a grocery bag out of the drawer and then tried to stuff garbage and egg shells into an uncooperative and small bag.

This left me only one choice. I reached up, grabbed a trash bag, and set things right. And wondered...

The look of love

There is something amazing in the face of somebody talking over the phone with the person they are in love with. Their face just radiates hope and joy. Seeing such a face must tempt even the most cynical and self-absorbed to believe in love.

And I've, well I've seen a thousand things in one place
But I stopped my counting when I saw your face
Erasing memory, well I feel as though I've never seen a face before
Until I saw your eyes
And they're smiling back at me through my tears
I've been counting all these years, oh
Suddenly the thousand things I've seen were nothing more than dreams of
Of you and me

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Now playing: Jason Mraz - 1000 Things
via FoxyTunes

How much do I love cycling?

Enough that I would join Twitter just so I can read the tweets from the Astana boys.

Alone on the moon

I really can't stand limited release movies. They often seem to be more interesting than the mainstream big budget films, yet never seem to be released near me. Several weeks ago I read about a movie called "Moon" and have really wanted to see it, and I finally got the chance tonight.

It really is quite a good film, if you like "films" and not just action-packed "movies." It is a classic sci-fi, light on special effects and heavy on character interaction with technology and the unknown. They don't really make movies like this much these days. I haven't seen the new "Transformers" yet, but I'm sure I will have enjoyed "Moon" more, despite the $5 million budget that must seem like a drop in the bucket compared to the budget for "Transformers".

What really fascinated me about the whole thing was going to see a movie about a guy alone on the moon, alone. It's hard to explain, but I suppose it made me more empathetic to the guy and what must be overwhelming loneliness.

I also saw a trailer for an unexpected new film, based on the book "The Time Traveler's Wife." I really love that book, and from the moment I saw the trailer begin I realized what it was and was so overcome with emotion, I felt like I was about to start crying. Yup, a trailer made me almost start crying. And I'm sure the movie won't be nearly as good as the book, which probably wasn't that good of a book anyway, but man, it really got to me.

Fixing the bad boys

I've always wondered why girls are so often attracted to the bad boys. I've heard the explanations about how they want someone to fix with their love, but it never really rang true. But I recently read something that makes so much more sense.

"Interestingly, relationship experts say that one of the reasons a girl finds a bad boy appealing is that she can be with him without ever letting him get too close. Bad boys very rarely commit to a monogamous, long-term relationship. Perhaps [the girl] is attracted to guys she cannot really have, because they don't want a real relationship, and she has a secret fear of intimacy."

That's it, right there. Fear of intimacy! It has absolutely nothing to do with girls wanting to fix anyone - they are just scared to be in a real, intimate relationship, so they stick with someone they know they won't take them too seriously and in turn won't have to take too seriously.

Still, all this psychobabble doesn't really help me much. Based on my experience, I still think nice guys finish last.

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I would like to hold your hand
as we're shifted through this twisted abandon
I would like to think that you'd know your way

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Now playing: Jason Mraz - No Doubling Back
via FoxyTunes

A 4th to Remember

This was an amazing 4th of July weekend. The whole thing was a blast with awesome friends: Ferris wheel rides, funnel cake, fried Oreos, Firefly and sweet potato fries, West Side Story on Broadway (never thought I'd get that chance), Catchphrase to the heart's content, and to top it all off, sailing at night on the 4th, watching fireworks in 36o panorama, from little Keansburg, NJ, to the Macy's show in Manhattan. It was incredible, and now, every time I close my eyes, I imagine sailing quietly over the dark water, the moon lighting the way.

My two favorite quotes of the weekend paraphrased:

"You are a masculine guy, but sometimes you say things that make me wonder." (In response to an impassioned plea for the legitimization of Capri pants.)

"Silly girl. She had no idea how much fun was coming." Damn right.

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Now playing: Dave Matthews Band - Crush
via FoxyTunes

Music, all night long

Do you ever have nights when you are listening and listening to music and you just don't want it to end? I am having one of those nights. I am exhausted and should have gone to bed a long time ago. But all I want to do is listen to music endlessly. I think I might just lie on my back until I melt into the floor and the melody. Try it! As you relax your body and let your mind sink into the song, it's almost like an out of body experience.

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Now playing: Iron & Wine - God Made The Automobile
via FoxyTunes