Teach me!

I've never really understood people who say"don't try to change me". I suppose that's not entirely true. Often these people don't want the person they are dating to try to make them into someone they are not. And to a degree, I agree with this idea. I wouldn't want someone to try to force me to enjoy brussel sprouts or watch Sex in the City.

But those aren't even good examples, because I would want someone to challenge me. Maybe there is some sauce that makes brussel sprouts taste amazing (unlikely!) or some angle to take on Sex in the City that makes it enjoyable, or at least an interesting commentary on the human condition (I remain skeptical). I wouldn't want someone to try to change who I fundamentally am, but I guess I would want someone to push me. I don't want to be completely responsible for defining myself - it sounds so self-absorbed and myopic.

In fact, I want someone to improve me! I've always like that saying that goes, "I love you the way you are, but I love you too much to let you stay that way." I fully subscribe to this way of thinking. There are so many different ways I can grow and become a better man. I want someone to see that potential and run with it. Someone simply accepting who I am seems rather drab - I hope they see more potential in me than just the me that is here and now.

I was recently listening to a radio show about relationships and dating, and they said one of the most important red flags about the person you are dating is an "unteachable and unrepentant" attitude. It really hit home, because I don't want to be that person. I want to be teachable, and I want to be repentant when I have screwed up. I accept that there is still a lot of work to be done on me. I don't want to be content in myself. I like to think there is a lot yet to come.



Unteachable and unrepentant

I love you the way you are, but love you too much to let you stay that way.