Humility sideways

Humility, I believe, is an important but very hard to achieve characteristic. Jesus said, "Blessed are the humble, for they shall inherit the earth." In my understanding, humility is not feeling sorry for oneself (which I am at times prone to do), but a realistic perception of oneself, especially relative to others. It is so hard for us to accomplish in part because we have to come to the realization that we are as likely to make mistakes and do wrong as others. I think all too often we have the following sentiment, which we confuse for humility: "well, I know I'm not the kindest person, but I would never do that to someone" or "I'm not the smartest person, but I know I wouldn't do something that stupid." Notice how in our thinking, we have actually made fairly strong absolutes in our mind, using words like "never" or "would not." We are in a sense a priori assuming we could never do something so wrong or silly, but then we try to fake humility by thinking that we aren't totally perfect (just not that imperfect).

But the reason I bring this up is because I find that - and I imagine many others do as well - when I am directly confronted with a misstep or wrong, I tend to be quite defensive or write off what is being said as inaccurate or a rare exception. I have found, as I did this evening, that I am often most reflective and open to humility when someone tells me about how another person has wronged or hurt them. For some reason, I find that I compare myself to the antagonist and realize that I have done similar things. It can at times seem as if someone is describing a reflection of a person, only to look in the mirror and see that person they are describing is you.

But then, maybe I'm just being unfair to myself and beating myself up. But then, maybe that's okay, because it helps to balance out the pedestal we too often put ourselves on.

It it is so cool to listen to a song you love but haven't heard in a long time. It's a small flame rekindled in the soul:
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Now playing: Dave Matthews & Tim Reynolds - Crush
via FoxyTunes