"Get a fucking job"

Monday night, after a beer and a good conversation with a friend at Ten Stone, my favorite local pub and restaurant, I was headed home when I heard someone near me say, "hey man." Although my instinct in the past been to ignore this sort of address from a stranger, I've been trying to train myself to acknowledge such requests for my attention, even if it often is a homeless guy asking me for a few bucks (which I usually give them). When I turned to say, "what's up," to the stranger, I found myself talking to a black dude, dressed in fairly normal, baggy clothing. He asked me if I ride the bus. I told him I unfortunately do not (I decided not to tell him about how I had tried to catch one just a few days ago, but failed to ever find an actual live bus to get on, which is frustrating since they always seem to be around early in the morning, waking me up with their unbelievably noisy engines). As I was deciding not to bore him with my story, he asked me if I had a bus token, to which I said I did not.

I guessed that was about the end of it when he thanked me for stopping and then proceeded to go into a bit of a rant about how no one else in my neighborhood had even stopped to talk to him. He said he had never been treated so rudely in his life; one lady actually told him to "get a fucking job." "And I do have a job, man," he told me, defensively. I tried to mutter something about how this neighborhood isn't that bad and I was sorry that people had treated him so badly, at which point he said this is why he "never comes over here" and then told me how his car was impounded because he got a DUI last night and he'd spent the last 16 hours in a jail cell. I told him again I was sorry, it sounded like he'd had a pretty rough day, and asked him if I could give him some money for a bus token. He said yes, and only took a dollar (I thought bus tokens were more like $2, but since I can't find a bus when I need it, I don't even know). He thanked me and continued to go on about how lousy things were going. He started to walk away, but I remembered someone telling me how people respond positively to physical touch, so I randomly decided to shake his hand and wish him luck before sending him on his way.

I don't know if he was making up this whole sob story to get money out of me (it's happened before), but he didn't seem like a druggie or a homeless guy (anyway, they usually just tell you if they are). I genuinely felt bad for the guy, especially because he had been purportedly treated so poorly. Now if he had really gotten a DUI, he did deserve to spend the previous night in jail, but he didn't deserve to have people in the neighborhood treat him like garbage. I think Philly is a pretty nice sort of city, but experiences like this make me wonder about this species of ours. I guess the guy could have mugged me for all I know, but I think the risk of getting mugged is worth helping people out. Sometimes you have to play it smart, but you don't have to ignore people or insult them over a lousy dollar or two.

Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.
Matthew 25:24

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Now playing: The Fray - Syndicate
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The arm touch

Friend: "She was touching your arm. That's a good sign when a girl touches your arm. "

Me: "She was touching my arm because my sweater is cashmere. It's very soft."

I mean, girls really like soft things, right? Heck, I really like soft things. Especially cashmere.

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Now playing: John Mayer - Do You Know Me
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A beautiful night (in my mind)

Nothing would make me happier than to lie on my back next to someone on a blanket in a grassy field, stare up at the starry night sky, and talk nonsense and listen to sad but hopeful songs all night long. But it is rainy and cold here, I am very tired, and I have no one to lay next to. So I guess tonight isn't going to work. But I'm ok with that, because it's a beautiful image in my mind.

On a somewhat related note, if you have not seen it, I highly recommend ONCE. I think I'm several years behind the bandwagon, but this song from the film is amazing:

I had no idea

In an article in the New York Times today about the increasing percentage of women making more than their husbands, I found the following quotation: "We’ve known for some time that men need marriage more than women from the standpoint of physical and mental well-being." And for some reason, which I cannot fully grasp or articulate, this concept has shaken me. I hope that does not sound tongue-in-cheek, because it's not. This proposition has the possibility of substantially altering my understanding of women and men, and their inter-relationship. It's something I suppose I never expected to hear. My preconceptions apparently are deep-seated and, it turns out, quite wrong. For all our machismo, we really need women more than they need us. Out of Africa had it all backwards. I guess I'm not as alone as I thought.

On a related note, I watched one of my favorite Seinfeld episodes tonight and came across a terrific exchange between George and Seinfeld that begged to be shared:

George: I mean it's gotten to the point where I'm flirting with operators on the phone. I almost made a date with one.

Jerry: Oh, so there's still hope.

George: I don't want hope. Hope is killing me. My dream is to become hopeless. When you're hopeless, you don't care, and when you don't care, that indifference makes you attractive.

Jerry: Oh, so hopelessness is the key.

George: It's my only hope.

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Now playing: The Weepies - Can't Go Back Now
via FoxyTunes

Yesterday when you were young
Everything you needed done was done for you
Now you do it on your own
But you find you're all alone, what can you do?

Curiosity, the fruit of love?

A few weeks ago, I heard someone on the radio talking about how married couples can rekindle a broken relationship by bring curiosity back into it. They weren't talking about anything exotic - simply becoming curious again in your partner.

For some reason, this concept has been intriguing me ever since I heard the discussion, and I keep returning to it, which is why I had to finally write it down. Personally, I don't think I'll ever have trouble being curious about someone. (Famous last words, right?). I'm normally endlessly curious, and when I'm in a relationship with someone, I want to know everything about them. I think my vice is being rather too curious than too little.

But I think why I really found this concept so interesting is that what I really want is for someone to be curious about me. I don't think it's believing that I'm extraordinarily unique or fascinating. If anything, the fear is that I am quite the opposite. I wonder if it's maybe just a desire to be known, really known. It sounds incredibly frightening but exhilarating for someone to really want to get inside your head. Mostly frightening, really, but somehow encouraging, too. To think, "wow, that person really wants to understand me." And it only becomes more amazing the more they come to see how truly messed up you are. To think, after they know what a crazy you are, they still want to know more.

I guess that's why I'm trying to give up on my first "crush" in Philly. She's a sweet girl, but not the least bit curious about me. Not sure if she's ever really asked me a question to learn anything more about me. Maybe that's a not so subtle clue that a girl is just not that into you: never tries to learn more about you.

It's not even that I want to be barraged with questions. It can be uncomfortable, sharing yourself with someone. It's not something I'm really seeking, exactly, even though I want it to happen. But in the end, it really does feel good, to have someone take a peak inside. I mean, isn't that what we really all want on some level - for someone to get us?

*Obviously there are a few criteria; but not that many
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It's been about a year since I first heard it, but this song still sends chills down my spine. I think my freezing cold apartment is only enhancing the experience.

Now playing: John Mayer - In Your Atmosphere
via FoxyTunes

Cute (Winter) Math

In the same vein as Love Math, I bring you Cute (Winter) Math:

Cute + Rosy Cheeks from the Cold = Very Cute

Cute + Rosy Cheeks + Trendy Hat = Super Cute

Cute + Cigarette = Not so Cute

Cute + Rosy Cheeks + Trendy Hat + Cigarette = Why'd you have to go and ruin it!?

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Now playing: Wilco - You And I
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Why I love flash memory

In my opinion, flash memory (or SSD, solid-state drive) is the future of portable computing. Most hard-drives today use a platter based system that requires rotation of the hard drive (if you've ever seen an extracted hard drive, it looks almost like a small record player). Flash memory has a myriad of advantages, including that it tends to be faster and more durable than these platter systems. On the other hand, platter systems have several disadvantages, in part because moving parts reduce reliability and increase the chances of damage when a computer is dropped or strikes something. The current major barrier to wider flash memory usage in computers is simply cost.

But I want to share with you why I love flash memory. Several years ago, when I started running at night in the winter with my iPod, I noticed that my iPod would often stop functioning after about 10 minutes and would signal to me that the battery was dead, even if I had just charged the iPod. Later in the evening, after I was home and warm, I would discover that my iPod was working and was showing a full charge. At first, I thought the jostling of running was possibly screwing up the iPod (traditional iPods have a spinning hard drive, after all). However, after some research, I learned that spinning hard drives can are susceptible to cold. I'm not completely sure why, but essentially temperatures below freezing can cause the drive to stop functioning properly. If you don't believe me, go here and search "advantages".

But iPhones (and several iPod models, such as nano's) use flash memory. Tonight during my run, it occurred to me that I haven't had any problems running in the cold with my 6-month old iPhone, and I realized it's because it has a SSD! No more quiet Winter runs, unless I choose silence.

You have now learned something incredibly random that only a small group of crazy people know. After all, how many people run with their iPod in sub-freezing temperatures (at night)?

Happy running!

Open-mindedness: Part 1

I've been thinking about writing a blog post or two on open-mindedness for the past few months. I came across a great quote today that has spurred me on to begin formulating my thoughts. I'll just post the quote for now as a prologue and let you mull it over.

"When people are least sure they are often most dogmatic."

From The Great Crash: 1929 by the legendary Harvard economist John Kenneth Galbraith.

Fortune cookie

I went on a freezing cold run along the river today. The wind was brutal. And I thought of this, which I think might make for a nice fortune in a cookie:

"The stronger the headwind out, the easier the journey home."

I mean, this applies to running and cycling. Nothing else. Not a life lesson or anything. So don't get all heady and philosophical on me.

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Now playing: Nickel Creek - When You Come Back Down
via FoxyTunes

Sometimes

Sometimes I am overwhelmed by and in awe of every single person I know. And I am humbled and blessed that any one of them might call me friend. Sometimes...

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Now playing: Jars of Clay - Worlds Apart
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