Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Where am I?

I just got back from a 3 week vacation this past Saturday. The vacation was quite necessary. It was great to just get away from things for a while, see old friends, adventure with close friends, visit my college church, hang out with my pastor, and just love on some people using some muscle and sweat. It didn't all turn out quite as I had planned, but I think I made the best of it.

When I finally got home Saturday night, I was absolutely exhausted. It felt awesome - I was overwhelmed to be back in Princeton, but relieved as well. That night I slept like a brick, and woke up with plenty of time to make the 10:30 service Sunday. I was still pretty cooked Sunday night, but then something really freaky happened.

I was sleeping like a brick, when all of a sudden, in the middle of the night, I woke up. It was almost pitch dark, but I could faintly discern the outline of my surroundings. And I had absolutely no idea where I was. Now I have had similar experiences, but much less intense. This night, my heart started racing, and I felt almost a panic stirring in my chest as I wondered where on earth I could be. For some reason I thought my buddy psychlist was also in the room (probably because I spent many a night sleeping inches from him in a tent, and several more in his apartment). Then I started to wonder why I didn't have any clothes on with someone else in the room (I do like to sleep naked, but not normally with others in the same room). Of course, I was in one of those dreamy stupors brought on by deep sleep, and that just made the puzzle of my whereabouts that much more confusing and disconcerting. My very location and orientation within the room made little sense to me. I didn't have the slightest clue where I was, and that is a frightening thing to face.

It felt like forever, as I disconcertingly tried to ascertain my location, but it was probably only a few minutes before I finally realized where I was. A huge wave of relief went through my whole body. I was "home", whatever that means. And I was alone. It took me several more minutes to calm down, and then I passed out again, in peace.

1 comment:

psychlist said...

there are certainly nights where i wake up disorientated because i don't have a hairy white guy sleeping inches away from me. it's amazing how one can quickly become accustomed to a new sleeping arrangement. now, if we had mated our bags and really shared the sleeping space, we'd be in for a lot of nightly distress right now.