Sleeplessness

I never was the type of person to suffer from sleeplessness. No matter what was on my mind, I could always get a good night's sleep. Even after fairly traumatic events in my life, I have always been able to fall asleep after, at most, an hour of restlessness. I always wondered what it was like to have something weighing so heavily on you that, despite physical and mental exhaustion, you could not manage to fall asleep. Well, I no longer have to wonder.

About 3 weeks ago, I experienced a few relatively sleepless nights. I was sick at the time, and also having girl troubles, but I wrote it off as simply being due to my illness. It got worse a few days later, plus I started taking Mucinex D, which happens to be a stimulant with potential side effects (I only learned later) including agitation, nervousness, and, as seems obvious with a stimulant, sleeplessness. But the girl situation had also worsened. Still, I simply thought the cause of my inability to sleep was the combination of emotional distress, a cold, and (stimulating) medicine.

But now I find myself writing a blog entry at 4 in the morning. I can't sleep at all. I got in bed exhausted, mentally, physically, and emotionally. And yet I couldn't sleep. It was a very strange experience. My mind wasn't even racing, as often happens when I'm having trouble falling asleep. My thoughts were vague and unfocused. Although they kept coming back to the same thing - the aforementioned girl, whom I had just happened to see this very evening for the first time in 2 and a half weeks. I suppose I was angry at first that I couldn't fall asleep. But there's no one to blame. It's just life, I guess - now I can at least empathize with others when they tell me they can't sleep. I just hope this is temporary. I'm going to be an absolute wreck tomorrow. It's the strangest thing though, because I am wide awake right now. I don't see myself falling asleep anytime soon. How can this be? The heart is a deep and mysterious thing, and I'm in a part of mine quite new to me.

Or maybe it was just the tiramisu...
(but I doubt it)


Because I don't get no sleep in a quiet room and...
The time when kindness falls like rain
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Now playing: Counting Crows - Anna Begins
via FoxyTunes