Ice Cream

The primary reason I do not buy ice cream is that if I did, I would eat it.

But a very sweet little thing bought me some because I wasn't feeling well.

So now I'm eating ice cream.

The pretension of texting

Yes, over the past couple of years I have fallen into the trap of texting. It has been exacerbated by the befriending of a couple people who like to have long and drawn out "conversations" via text. I thought I'd share one of the more amusing dialogues I had with one of these repeat texters a couple days ago. (Background: SD likes to hassle me for being somewhat preppy and not being completely anti-popped collar. He was trying to argue with me because I was hassling him for refusing to leave voicemails).

ME: This is the best argument you have? "Ur ridic"? Wow, disappointing. I affirm u SD, so u can leave me voicemail. U don't have to beg me to want to listen.

SD: You're ridic cause you're making some bogus argument about voicemail! You know how to get under my skin, alright!

ME: So when r we going to hang out?

SD: When you stop popping collars and talking about pink cashmere ;)

ME: No, no, u have it all wrong. I like popping my BLACK cashmere overcoat. Sheesh. But not many other collars. And I don't own pink cashmere.

SD: But it was mentioned ;)

ME: Never by me. This is a vicious and slanderous lie.

SD: Yes. Once. The only cashmere convo we had. It was in regard to a sweater

...several minutes pass...

SD: I win!!

ME: You win? Your argument was specious and then I [I meant "u"] resorted to pure fabrication. If u think clutching at straws is winning, I misoverstimated u.

SD: That was the most pretentious text I've ever received!

I laughed for the next 5 minutes straight. But don't worry, all is well. The next day he sent me a text that read "I heart you HP!"

Thoughts on marriage

My Mom sent me this thought-provoking list of things to consider before marriage. I found this interesting enough to be worth posting:

PLEASE DO NOT MARRY IF:
1. You are unwilling to put the needs of another person above your own.
2. You are easily offended, carry grudges and are unwilling to forgive.
3. You are an abusive person (Mentally, emotionally and physically).
4. You are unwilling to commit.
5. You have an unresolved addiction problem.
6. Your career is the most important thing in your life.
7. You do not share the same beliefs, values, life priorities or vision.
8. You are unwilling to be an active partner sexually with your spouse.
9. You are unwilling to agree on an approach for handling finances,
children and life decisions.
10. You expect your spouse to change after you get married.

This all makes sense to me. Some parts of it sound harder than others, but we each have our own unique flaws and struggles, so the items we find most challenging are likely to be different from others, even our partner. Thoughts?

The dilemma

It was recently requested that I update my blog, so I've decided to write about a very serious and pressing dilemma for which I have no good answer. That dilemma is seasonally themed underwear. Mostly, Christmas and Winter themed boxers.

Is it appropriate to wear these boxers in other seasons? Is that a serious fashion mistake? Am I somehow jinxing myself? I must admit, I do feel a bit odd wearing my boxers printed with pictures of a dog with an antler headpiece or skiers in 90 degree weather. But what is my alternative - to only wear these boxers during the Winter months? They would sit around for 2/3s of the year, taking up space and according undue wear to my other, less seasonally specific underwear. The utilitarian in me says to just wear them, and so I do. But every time I put them on, I feel a bit discomforted. The dogs with their antlers almost look back at me in embarrassment, as if they are saying "really dude, you are going to put antlers on my head in this heat?"

Dishwasher serenity

At my Oma & Opa's house, the kitchen is right next to, and open to the family room. Often, my Oma would load the dishwasher and then set it to run right before going to bed. This would often drive me a little crazy because I would on occasionally stay up after they went to bed. I would try to watch TV in the family room, with the volume turned down given the late hour, which made it rather challenging to hear the TV over the rather loud dishwasher. And yet, the noise of the dishwasher often also had a calming affect on me.

When I moved into my apartment in Philly last Summer, I was very excited to have a dishwasher for the first time in 5 years. I must say, I've been less than pleased with its paltry cleaning ability. I have to scrub my dishes pretty clean before running them through the dishwasher, which really just serves as a glorified sanitizer. And the thing is fairly noisy, too. But nevertheless, I find myself typically running it right before I go to bed, and I frequently leave my bedroom door open so that I can hear it run. There's something about the sound of it running as I try to drift into sleep that is strangely soothing. It makes me miss my grandparents, but it also makes my apartment feel a little more like home. Whatever that is.

Trunks and such

Tonight I found my car yet again with a dead battery. This has become a common trend in Philly, and usually I end up calling AAA, but this time I had some friends around, so I asked one of them to help me out. But first I had to get the jumper cables out of my trunk. The problem was, I couldn't open up my trunk because there is no physical knob, only a button that is run by an electrical signal, which obviously doesn't work when your battery is dead. So I reverted back to some knowledge I had gained in high school.

See, one random night during my junior year of high school I was hanging out with my girlfriend, and I devised the brilliant plan to see if we could both fit into my trunk at the same time - with it closed, naturally. First, I tested it myself. What I figured out in this experiment is that there is usually some small panel or hole on the inside of the door of the trunk with a lever or wire inside of it that, upon being pulled, releases the latch. So essentially, there is a way to escape on your own from inside a closed car trunk. With this vital knowledge acquired, my girlfriend and I, somewhat confident we could get out (or at least I was confident), attempted to complete our mission. First I got in, and then she crawled in after me. We assumed a semi spoon-like position, with her as the little spoon. Keep in mind, this was the trunk of a 2-door coupe, so there wasn't a lot of room, but somehow we managed to squeeze in and shut the door! I was pretty excited it actually worked, and there is no horror story about us getting stuck in the trunk. I found my hole in the paneling and released the trunk latch. Easy as pie.

This pointless knowledge I had gained proved itself surprisingly useful today during my dilemma. I simply crawled over the seats into the trunk of my hatchback, located a suspicious looking snap-in panel, removed it, and found a small lever. Sure enough, the trunk popped open. Before I knew it, I had my jumper cables out and was ready to start my car. And now all is well because I challenged my high school girlfriend to squish into a trunk with me. Ain't life grand!

I think I'm going to coin the phrase "trunk-spoon." I have no idea when I would actually use it though. Ideas?

Dharma and Greg

I always liked the show Dharma and Greg, but I think originally because they were such an odd couple. I used to want to find a partner who was, when I think about it, just like me. I thought Dharma and Greg's incredibly different backgrounds and interests made for an amusing storyline, but nothing more. But over the past couple of years or so, their relationship, or what it signifies has become more interesting to me. I suppose in many ways I saw, and still see, myself as a Greg. But over time, I've come to realize I don't want to spend all of my time with another Greg, in girls clothes - I'd rather be around someone different from me, someone who can amaze and surprise me with their different perspective and personality and interests. Not that I would want to settle down with someone completely different from me, but the idea of being with someone who is more "artsy" and less serious than me is very appealing. Maybe it's because, as a young adult, I've started to discover an "artsy" and alternative side of myself, and I'd like someone who can relate to that, and even tease it out of me a little. And I guess even broader than that, I've just become more open to possibilities, and not trying to design someone in my head. That would not be at all surprising.

(I wonder if I'll have the same perspective in 3 years? Maybe I'll want another Gregette again?)

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Now playing: James Taylor - How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You)
via FoxyTunes

Am I a contradiction?

At times my life does not seem to make any sense. I have very little ambition or drive, and yet I find myself working past midnight in an intensive career full of over-achievers. All I really want to do is lay out on a blanket and listen to music. I could do that all day and all night. It would be like one of those scenes from The Discovery Channel where a fixed camera captures the sun move across the sky and set, then the stars sailing across the sky, only to reveal the sun all over again. A girl lying next to me and a bottle of sparkling wine would make it perfect.

Seriously, where is my blanket...

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Listening to The Weepies - All Good Things

Crash songs

If you've ever been in a really serious car accident, you know that it is a truly unforgettable experience. It happens so fast, you feel so helpless, and yet at the same time everything moves incredibly slowly. In the crash I experienced, we literally rolled sideways down the side of a mountain a few times. It was terrifying in a way I cannot express. All I can remember thinking is "if we don't stop soon, we will die." And yet realizing to the core of my being that I had absolutely zero control over if and when we would stop.

We did eventually stop, and all 4 of us escaped relatively unscathed given how bad it could have been. I might have even done some good, but I usually don't like to talk about it.

For some reason, the whole experience has made me fascinated with songs about accidents, so I've listed my favorite 3 crash songs below, in no particular order.

Come Crash, by A.C. Newman

So Damn Lucky, by Dave Matthews

The Scientist, by Coldplay

The last is not explicitly about a car crash, but the music video almost brought me to tears the first time I saw it. It involves an accident, and there are many similarities to the accident I was in. I just watched it again, and it still sends chills down my spine.

Please, please always wear your seat belt. It's quite likely I can type this blog only because I was.

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Now playing: A.C. Newman - Come Crash
via FoxyTunes

The return of insomnia

I haven't had insomnia for a while, so I guess it was due. I'm very tired, and tried to go to bed very early tonight, but only tossed and turned for half an hour. I've given up and instead decided to learn my first Greg Laswell song. I'm excited! Today on my walk home from work, I picked all the back streets with the most empty sidewalks so that I could sing out loud with my iPod to learn all the nuances of singing it.

For your future listening pleasure (I hope) - Comes and Goes (in Waves).

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Now playing: Greg Laswell - Comes And Goes (In Waves)
via FoxyTunes

You might be a bachelor if...

...your contribution to a potluck is bringing plastic cups, and at said potluck, a girl calls you out for having mismatched sheets hanging from your bedroom windows instead of curtains, and the girl noticed this when she was with a group of people in your apartment when you weren't there. Actually, that last part has nothing to do with being a bachelor - it's just strange.

The downfall of ringtones

I've discovered that making your own ringtones from songs you love isn't as great an idea as it sounds. The reason - when my phone rings and a song comes on I love, I don't want to pick. I just want to hear the ring finish. So often I make the person on the other end wait for a while because I want to hear the verse or chorus I love resolve. Sorry.

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Now playing: Greg Laswell- Not out
via FoxyTunes

I'm just shy

I want you to know that just because I don't talk to you when you are standing right in front of me, or act like I'm bored or tired (sometimes I even fake a yawn), or turn like you aren't there, it's not because I don't want to talk to you or don't like you. I'm just shy, and sometimes I don't know what to say. I'd really like to talk to you and get to know you better. I'm sorry. It's the same reason I don't advertise my blog, but it's perfectly ok if you read it, even if you don't tell me. :-)

Spam confession

I feel like this should be on PostSecret:

Sometimes I check my Spam folder to see if someone has sent me a really important note that Gmail somehow accidentally marked as spam. Like that someone is hopelessly in love with me. If instead of beginning with headlines about getting a larger penis, they said things like, "I've been scared to tell you this...", I would probably open lots of my spam.

Something tells me this is not the most effective way to look for love.

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Now playing: Pomplamoose Makin Out
via FoxyTunes

Of singing

I went to a house show Saturday night to raise money for a Haiti missions trip. If you don't know what a house show is, it's basically a night 0f mostly amateur musicians playing a few songs in someone's living room. You pay a cover and then pay outrageous amounts for drinks (but it's all for charity, so you don't mind). At the end, it turned into a bit of a singalong, which was much fun. Then I was somehow talked into going up to play a song. Yikes! At first I resisted, but then my mind was filled with thoughts of "you only live once." This would be the biggest group of people I had ever played in front of. The encouragement was centered on a friend who had heard me playing Babylon outside my apartment the other night, so Babylon it was. I was incredibly nervous, but since it was spontaneous, I luckily didn't have hours of dread built up. I have no idea how it went, or if it was an utter disaster, because I was so anxious I can't even remember clearly what happened. The first couple lines, my voice was weak and failing me, which made me even more nervous! But thankfully, I was able to muster a little composure, and things got better, but I still couldn't honestly tell you if I was even in tune. A few people afterward said it was good, so hopefully they weren't just saying that out of kindness.

One of the highlights of the night was a duet of a guy and girl, playing songs I don't really know, but were beautiful nonetheless. They are both very talented and their voices blend magnificently - for some reason, they reminded me of the couple from Once, not because they sound the same, but because their voices were complimentary in a similar way. The female of the duet frequently leads worship, and I've heard her sing in other settings, so I can pretty confidently say she has a lovely singing voice (as I think would most other people who have heard her). But what amazes me is that on the car ride home she, I think quite honestly, was talking about how nervous she was and how weak her voice sounded, and more generally how little confidence she has in her abilities. I appreciate humility, but it's still surprising to me when someone who is clearly talented, and seen by not just me but others as talented, is terrified at performing in front of people. Of course, I can definitely empathize with the feeling, I just can't understand it in her case. I mean, people ask her to perform all the time - I am not getting such requests.

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On a completely different topic, earlier Saturday I went for a run. To get onto the river trail I usually run along, you have to cross some railroad tracks. As I was crossing them this day, I noticed that a young child (maybe 3 or 4) had somehow step into one of the tracks and gotten his foot stuck, and his mother was patiently trying to get his foot unstuck. Now mind you, these tracks are used by trains, although usually at rather slow speeds. Even though there wasn't a train in sight, I was unexpectedly very concerned about this child's safety. I kept looking back over my shoulder to see if he had been freed. This got to the point that I was practically running backwards until I saw the little squirt finally running free. I had no idea I had such strong parenting instincts, but I'm glad to know they are somewhere in there.


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Come here my star is fading
And I swerve out of control
And I swear I waited and waited

Now playing: Coldplay - Amsterdam
via FoxyTunes

Berlin and the Wall

I walked by a monument in Berlin tonight that contains pieces of the Berlin Wall that are still standing. It sent chills down my back. The last time I was in Berlin, it was still divided into East and West Berlin. People were still selling out their friends, neighbors, children, parents, even spouses to the Stasi. I can't believe this was going on in my lifetime, and that the wall came down just over 20 years ago. By the way, an absolutely incredible film that captures the essence of the DDR and Stasi is The Lives of Others, winner of the 2007 Academy Award for Best Foreign Language Film. A must see. William F. Buckley, Jr., just months before passing away, wrote that after seeing it, "I turned to my companion and said, 'I think that this is the best movie I ever saw.'" Yes, it's that good.

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Now playing: John Mayer - Victoria
via FoxyTunes

The modern musical blessing

Tonight is the first time I've had a chance to really relax and listen to music for quite a while. I'm a little sick, stressed out, over-worked, sore-assed, and lonely. But this music is melting my head. When you think about it, it's amazing that we have access to great recordings from almost any artist. This is a truly incredible modern blessing. Think - 300 years ago only a select few had a chance to listen to a popular musician, and only when they played live. Now, on our iPod, we have instant access to almost anyone at their best. Truly astounding when you think about it that way.

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Now playing: John Mayer - Do You Know Me
via FoxyTunes

Extroverted introvert

I think I'm an extroverted introvert. I really enjoy the company of other people; sometimes I absolutely crave it. But I also need alone time. In fact, sometimes spending time with people completely exhausts me. I'm not sure how else to explain it. I guess it means I love you, even when I need a break from you.

This has some interesting implications. For instance, I can miss someone while not wanting to be around them. Yeah, it's hard for me to wrap my mind around that one, too. And even harder to fix.

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Now playing: John Mayer - Victoria
via FoxyTunes

Any given Tuesday...

...something like this could happen:

11PM, everyone has left my house, I haven't had dinner, nothing in my fridge. I walk down the street to a local pub to grab a craft beer and a cheap sausage. They are cheap but good. I sit at the bar, reading NYT articles on my iPhone, sometimes stopping to listen to the loud drunk a few stools down or the barkeep telling a funny story, or to glance at the TV to realize again and again that I'm completely uninterested in what is on. I'm pretty sure I am anonymous in this bar - I didn't see anyone I know when I walked in, and it's unlikely my friends will wander in this late on a Tuesday.

I feel someone poke my back. It's probably just someone, maybe a little tipsy, who bumped me with their elbow or a wayward hand. I turn around slowly, half-expecting to only see someone's back as they continue on their meandering way. Instead I turn to see a friend of mine who was just at my house 45 minutes ago. As I continue my turn I see another friend. They are both girls; they are both smiling. I probably look perplexed. I am perplexed, and a little embarrassed. I wonder how long they have seen me sitting at the bar, alone.

The girl who I saw second says, "oh, if we had known people were going out afterward, we would have gotten everyone together." People? There is no one else with me. I mumble, "people, no, just me." I guess that's obvious. I guess it doesn't matter because I don't think she heard me. Sometimes I wonder if I'm ever heard.

One of them asks me what I had for dinner. I try to explain that I haven't gotten my dinner yet. I don't think they hear me, but it's not important so I give up. I tell them I got a sausage. More chitchat. I probably should have asked them what they got. That would have been polite. I realize this about 5 minutes after they leave. I'm terrible at chitchat when I'm surprised, confused, or embarrassed. Or all three.

Then the first one says they will see me at church Sunday. I say in 3 Sundays. They look at me confusedly, with heads cocked almost like curious dogs. I say 3 again and hold up 3 fingers. There is an awkward silence. They don't seem to understand or be that interested. They leave. I don't think they realize I am about to fly all over the world. That's okay - they aren't interested and I'm kind of tired of telling people today.

I wonder if they'll remember what I said when I'm not in my apartment next week for our meeting , and if it will suddenly make sense.

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Now playing: Greg Laswell - Off I Go
via FoxyTunes

This post was edited less than 10 hours after having been published. But one loyal reader had already seen the original post. Can't sneak anything by her :-)

Consequences

Sometimes stupid decisions have negative consequences, often in ways you would not expect. Last Sunday, as I was rushing to church, I slowed down for a stop light, but when I thought no cars were coming, rode right on through without slowing down as much as I usually do. I go through red lights all the time, but usually I slow to a crawl and am very careful to make sure I can see down the intersecting street to ensure no cars are coming. This time I went too fast, and sure enough, the coast wasn't as clear as I thought it would be. All of a sudden I heard screeching tires to my left and slammed on the brakes. Luckily, the driver of the car had been paying attention and managed to stop with room to spare. He then just sat there in his car and glared at me for being an idiot, which obviously I deserved.

But in this little almost accident, I jumped forward on my bike, off my seat. I don't really know what happened next, but either my seat ran into the back of my butt or I landed on my top tube, because a few hours later I discovered that my ass-bone was very sore, and now for the past week it has been painful to sit down for any extended period of time. This is all good and well, except for the fact that I am scheduled to spend a whole lot of time sitting on my butt as I fly all over the globe in less than a week. If I don't heal up in the next few days, this is going to be a very painful and challenging experience. So here's to hoping and praying that my coccyx decides to stop hurting before my first flight across the pond.

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Because it seems fitting (and it's a great song)...

Now playing: A.C. Newman - Come Crash
via FoxyTunes